Yo quiero Taco Bell

So tonight I had Taco Bell. I just couldn't bring myself to eat yet another egg or another bite of cottage cheese. I'm allowed the refried beans from TB as long as I order them without cheese. I enjoyed them immensely -- perhaps too immensely, which is why I'm writing about them in this blog.

Taco Bell was my fast food binge location of choice. I don't think there's anything on the menu that didn't make me glow with joy and happiness. (Or burst out of my jeans.) I have enjoyed almost everything I've been allowed to eat since surgery. But today I enjoyed my TB just a little bit too much. While putting those baby spoon sized bites into my mouth I found myself feeling sad that I couldn't have a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Or a Bean Burrito. Or a Nachos Bellgrande. Or just a plain old Taco.

Food thoughts.....racing, crazy, obsessive food thoughts. I didn't like the feeling.

I'm not sure I'll have TB again. Or at least not for awhile. This journey is a mental road trip, not just a physical melting of pounds and I don't think I'm quite ready to step into the world of Taco Bell. Maybe I'll never be. But I do know that I don't want to put myself in situations where I want to overeat or I feel deprived.

Lesson learned.