I Wanna Go Dancing

Bliss :)

2010-08-26T15:38:00.002-05:00

Giddy Giddy Giddy!

2010-08-25T21:39:00.005-05:00

Nine months ago I wore a size 32. Most people don't even know what that means....they can't comprehend how big a size 32 is.

Me, at a size 32

Today, I went shopping and I fit into a size 16 pair of jeans. There are no words to describe the sheer JOY and absolute giddyness!!!!!!!!! But maybe this picture can convey it a little.....

Me, a size 16!!!

It's Been 14 Years.....

2010-08-24T21:20:00.005-05:00

On Sunday, something amazing happened. I weighed in and saw the scale read

218 pounds

So what, you might say. Big freakin' deal - you're still a fat chick. Oh but wait. I haven't weighed less than 220 pounds since 1996. NINETEEN-FREAKIN-NINETY SIX people!!!! I was 21 years old. And today, I saw the scale scream 217. And it made me giddy.

OH HAPPY DAY!!!

This is the most recent pic I have, but I've lost four pounds since it was taken. (162 total) JoyJoy! Life is SO good, and I am SO lucky!

Lemon Drop Shake

2010-08-21T14:28:00.003-05:00

Tried a new protein shake today. It was yum yum!

12 oz of Skim Milk

1 1/2 TBSP of Dannon Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt

1 TBSP of Sugar Free Lemon Instant Jello Pudding Mix

3/4 scoop of Vanilla protein powder

1 TBSP Cool Whip Lite

Blend, blend, blend. Sip, sip, sip.

I actually put it in the freezer for about 10 minutes to try to make it thicker and frosty cold. It didn't get as thick as I would have liked but I think next time I'll use 10oz of milk and add a few frozen strawberries to thicken it up.

29.8 grams of protein

286 calories

5 grams of fat

27.2 grams of carbs

23.5 grams of sugar

Dump Dump Dumpity Dump

2010-08-20T14:58:00.005-05:00

I'm not a very good blogger, obviously. I've actually been keeping a list in my purse of things I want to either blog or vlog about, but the days just seem to roll on by and the blogs don't get written. It's naptime at my house and I was just laying on the couch taking in the refreshing sound of quiet when I realized that this would be a good time to blog.

And the topic for today is not on my 'list' but it's something we talked about at my surgeon's support group this week: Dumping Syndrome. It's not something all of us gastric bypass babies do, so I feel very lucky to have this tool as a part of my weight loss surgery. I was worried I'd be one of the non-dumpers, but nope, I dump - and boy am I glad.

The dumping experience as well as the foods that cause dumping are different for everyone. No one body is the same as the next. I can only write about my own dumpisodes and let you know what it's like for me. I had my surgery on November 11, 2009 and I'm 9 months out. I've dumped about six times in those 9 months, but all of my dumping has been with 'safe' foods.

Here's a list off the top of my head of foods that have had me on my knees:

bananas

sugar free ice cream

mangoes

yogurt

sugar free pudding

graham crackers

Here's a list of foods that I've tried post-op that have NOT caused me to dump:

cake

cookies

cupcakes

WHAT?? I know, right? But here's the thing - each time I've tried something like a piece of cake or a cookie I've had a teeny tiny piece. I've had cake maybe three times, and the piece I had was literally one inch squared. That's it. Just a taste.....enough to satisfy but no where near enough to make me sick. I'm fairly certain that my body would strongly retaliate if I tried to feed it six donuts and a package of Oreo cookies. ;) The items that have caused me to dump were things that I tried as a post-op but didn't know that they'd make me sick. If you're body is going to dump after surgery I don't think there's anything you can do to prevent it from happening on some foods, because the only way to KNOW something is going to make you dump is learn through experience.

In nine months, here are some things I have learned about MY body in regards to dumping:

I can eat half of a banana or a mango. More than that and I'm done for.
If I want a sugar free ice cream cone I have to order a SMALL and then throw half in the garbage - or pay for it 20 minutes later!
Something that I ate with no problem today may make me sick tomorrow. (Like my strawberry protein shake for instance.)
Graham crackers are not for me. Oh the pain!
Sugar free yogurt is fine. Sugar free yogurt with fruit plus cool whip = BAD

Those are the guidelines that my body has set for me thus far and I know that as long as I follow my body's rules I'll be okay.

Oh, and what does dumping feel like? For me....it's like being seasick, carsick or just plain DRUNK minus the fun parts. Once I'm heading into dumpville it's lights out for me. The only relief I get is to lay down and go to sleep. I feel exhausted, dizzy, cold, sweaty, lightheaded and just play SICK. Some people get diarrhea with dumping syndrome, but that's not a part of it for me. I do feel like I want to vomit - but I don't. And man, I sure wish I could. It's like being drunk and you know that throwing up will make it better but you just can't.

So that's dumping in a nutshell for me. What's it like for you?

New Picture!

2010-07-05T19:04:00.002-05:00

148 pounds lost in 7 months. Even I can't believe it!

Before & After Video

2010-05-28T00:09:00.003-05:00

I just posted a new video on my YouTube channel. It's got some before pics and then some "my journey so far" pics. 136 pounds lost so far!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3QJHdDpHxo

I've been asked to either add my recipes here or start a recipe blog. Not sure yet...I mean I do such a good job of keeping up with this one, right? *wink* LOL

Before & 134 Pounds Later

2010-05-24T00:07:00.000-05:00

Woot Woot!

2010-05-11T17:00:00.002-05:00

Five pounds lost in three days.

Five.

FIVE.

FIVE gloriously wonderful pounds!

Happy Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Yes, I Know....Muscle Weighs More Than Fat

2010-05-05T15:05:00.004-05:00

I'm going to preface this entry by saying that I'm feeling uber-bitch-tastic today. I'm a crab. So take that into consideration when you read by rant below.....

Muscle weighs more than fat they say and although I know this, I'm still annoyed. I weigh daily and track my weight using an iPod application called "Lose It!" I feel like I've been stuck around the same few pounds for weeks on end and it's getting to me. Here's a cut & paste from my Lose It spreadsheet. It begins with today's weight and goes back one day for each weight thereafter. The last weight listed is from April 8.

258 257 257 257 258 258 260 259 260 260 261 257 257 257 260 260 260 261 261 261 262 263 263 263 263 263 265 265

So I've lost 7 pounds since April 8th, and today is May 5th. I went through my weight for the last couple months and I've lost about 10-12 pounds per month. That seems low to me.

One drastic change in my life that's happened recently is that I quit my job as a preschool teacher to stay home with my own two kids and do home daycare for other families. I thought it would be hard but so far I'm loving it!! When working outside the home I didn't get back at night until about 6:30 and then sometimes it was hard to go to the gym because I hadn't seen my own kids all day. But now, by 5:00 or 5:30 I'm free...and I have no guilt about leaving my kids home with daddy or at the gym daycare while I work out. So I've been putting in a lot more time working out and going much more frequently. I'm also doing more toning and I can feel my muscles under my skin. It's possible that my loss rate has slowed because of the increased level of exercise. I'm holding onto that.

Just Seven Short Months Ago.....

2010-04-18T20:48:00.006-05:00

Just seven months ago I took this picture with my phone. The hubby and I were celebrating our anniversary.

Today my parents watched the kiddos and we went out on a date. :) I took this picture with my phone this afternoon. What a difference 118 pounds makes......

I'm Alive....and Still Getting Skinnier!

2010-04-08T16:49:00.002-05:00

Long time no post.

I watched a YouTube WLS Vlog once where the vlogger commented that as she loses more weight, she vlogs less because she's out living her life. I'm finding that the same thing is true for myself. Instead of being a hermit I'm busy, busy, busy. Even when I'm home I'm usually cleaning my ass off. Yes, you read that right. I've become a housekeeping nazi. And I LOVE IT. I work all day and then I come in the door and clean, clean, clean. I cook (what??) clean and clean some more. I'm pretty sure my house hasn't been this clean since right before we moved in.

So anyway - my blogging, as well as my vlogging, have become more infrequent. But it's a good thing because I've traded my lazy hermit lifestyle for a busy & exciting one.

Weight Update:

Today I weighed in at 265. WOOT!! My starting weight was 379, so I am down 114 pounds. For awhile my loss really slowed but I kicked it up at the gym and cut back on some of my calories and now it's heading down at a steady pace again. My BMI has gone from 59 to 39 and I have less weight left to lose than the amount I've already lost. That feels fabulous. :) I am not exactly sure what my surgeon will suggest for a goal weight but I know that at 168 my BMI will be 24.8 - and that's the most I can weigh to have a BMI that is considered 'normal.' Who knows if that is even attainable for me without plastic surgery but we'll see. I would be ecstatic just to be 199!

Non-Scale Victory

I LOVE Sarah McLachlan. In 2007 my husband bought me tickets to her "Afterglow" concert for Valentine's Day. The concert was in the fall and it was amazing. I bought a tour shirt that I knew I couldn't wear because it was 4 sizes too small. But alas, it was the largest size they sold. Yesterday, I wore it for the first time. :) :)

New pics to come soon!

xoxo

Therese

Nutrition Info for Latte Shake

2010-02-20T22:41:00.003-06:00

Hola friends! After my last post someone asked me to blog about the nutritional info in the protein shake I drink every morning. You can find the ingredients in the blog immediately before this one. Here are the nutritional stats, as per my handy dandy Lose It program on my ipod:

Calories: 264

Fat: 6.9g

Carbs: 26g

Fiber: 0

Sugars: 24.8g

Protein: 26.2g (woo hoo!)

Reminder: I make mine with skim milk and I use 10 ounces instead of 8. I also use only 3/4 of a serving of the protein powder because, for me, the calories and protein content are too high otherwise. I generally make it with Vanilla powder but I do like it with Chocolate as well. If I have it in the evening I use decaf instead of regular coffee and it tastes just as good.

I made a video on my YouTube channel about the recipe and you can view it here. (Fast forward to about 2 minutes in to avoid some of the useless chatter at the beginning. haha)

Vanilla Latte Video

As for me, I'm still holding at 290 pounds - no loss for about 4 or 5 days but that's okay. I've been working out a lot more lately and even had a session at the gym with a personal trainer. Muscle weighs more than fat so I'm okay with losing inches and staying the same on the scale for a while.

'Til Next Time,

xoxoxoxo

Therese

3 Months Post-Op

2010-02-17T22:14:00.003-06:00

Last week I had my 3 month post-op appointment with my surgeon's office. Everything was fine and I was cleared for the next food phase, which now includes steak and citrus. As soon as I left the doctor I was at the grocery store in line for a mandarin orange. I'd been craving one since Christmas and it was delicious to finally sink my teeth into one!

My surgeon requires mini support group meetings with each milestone check-up, so at this appointment I also had an hour long meeting with two other patients who were also three months post-op. Both made comments about eating 6 or 8 tiny meals throughout the day and only being able to tolerate, at most, 1/2 a cup of food. My paranoia rose immediately. Here I am eating between 3/4 to 1 cup at each meal - OH NO, I thought, WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? Holy cow I must be stretching my pouch!!! I spoke up and asked the nurse leading the class and she said that I was fine. I was told to eat three meals a day with no snacks and that's what I've been doing. I generally have a protein shake for breakfast, then I eat solid food for lunch and dinner. I consume around 800 - 1100 calories a day and I track my food, water, vitamins, weight and exercise in my ipod every single day. On the weekends my calorie count falls because I sleep in and I just can't get in enough food during my waking hours. (haha! Who'd have thought??) I do make sure I get my protein minimum of at least 60grams and no more than 80grams. Generally I fall between 59-68 grams of protein per day. Anyway, she assured me I wasn't eating too much - that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Whew!

Today's Menu:

Meal 1:

Protein "Latte" Shake

3/4 scoop of GNC Vanilla Whey Powder

2 tsps Nescafe Instant Gourmet Dark Roast Coffee

2 TBSP sugar free french vanilla creamer

10 0z of skim milk

(I have this every morning and I looove it!)

Meal 2:

2 oz of turkey sausage

1/2 cup of sauerkraut (sp?)

mandarin orange

2 Hershey Kisses

Meal 3:

Morningstar 'Veggie' Buffalo Wings (4)

2 TBSP light Ranch dressing for dip

3/4 oz of pepperjack cheese

Exercise:

16 minutes on the treadmill

12 minutes on the stationary bike

Water: 69 ounces

Vitamins: all 3 doses of calcium, 3 doses of iron, thiamine, b-12, multi-vitamin x2

Weight: 290

As the saying goes....

2010-02-15T14:30:00.003-06:00

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

And this little gem. YIKES!!

Thank you God for WLS!!

Hip, Hip, Hooray!

2010-01-31T17:56:00.002-06:00

It's been awhile since I've posted a blog so I thought I'd come on tonight and share a few updates. First of all, I finally broke through my last stall. Yay! Last time I posted I was stuck somewhere around 318 pounds. I'm happy to report that I'm down to 298 today!! It feels amazing to be below that 300 pound mark. It's been a very long time since I've seen 299 or less and I couldn't be happier with my total loss, which stands at minus 81 pounds.

Secondly, today a super groovy cool thing happened! Lately all of my clothes are just hanging on me and it's driving me mad. So this afternoon I decided to dig deep into the cavern of my closet and see if I could find any of my old clothes that are smaller sizes. I found a pair of Levi jeans that I didn't even know I'd ever owned - they were a size 24. Six weeks before my surgery I was at my highest weight ever, 379 pounds and a size 32. The clothes I've been wearing lately are all size 28s. So when I discovered these size 24 Levis I laughed to myself and figured there was no way in hell they were going to fit me. But I tried them on anyway -- and they buttoned. And they zipped. And they were comfortable.

*blink*

*insert happy dance here*

I'm over the moon and I think I'm going to wear them for the next three days straight.

Feed Me, I'm Yours.

2010-01-10T23:57:00.003-06:00

Now that I'm two months out I'm in a pleasant food phase. I have fewer restrictions so my menus are much more varied. It's been awhile since I've done a daily food list so I thought I'd do one today.

Breakfast

Apple Cheddar Quesadilla

(1/8 of a diced granny smith apple, 1/4 cup of shredded cheddar, 1 low carb high protein whole wheat tortilla....toss it in the frying pan for a minute on each side.)

Snack

1/2 of a Mocha protein shake

(1 tsp instant coffee, 8 oz milk, half a scoop of Unjury Chocolate or Vanilla protein powder, 1 TBSP of sugar free powdered french vanilla creamer)

Lunch

1 oz of colby jack cheese

8 baby carrots

2 TBSPs of lite Ranch dressing

Dinner

Bleu Cheese Turkey Pita

(1TBSP of reduced fat bleu cheese crumbles and 1 TBSP of plain Greek Yogurt blended until smooth like a spread, 6 slices of deli shaved turkey, 1 TBSP of shredded cheddar, baby lettuce leaves. All between two whole wheat, low carb high protein sandwich thins.)

Today's Nutrient Totals:

Calories 956

Protein 65 grams (daily minimum is 60, max is 80)

Fiber 14.3 grams

Carbs 61.4 grams

(Nutritional info courtesy of the greatest ipod application EVER: Lose It! Visit www.loseit.com to see it for yourself....and then GET IT while it's still FREE! That's right, I said FREE!

Ta-da. So there you have it. Welcome to my world. I think it's a pretty tasty place to live.

xoxo

Therese

Stalled

2010-01-09T19:52:00.003-06:00

Stalled.

Stuck.

The scale just ain't movin.

Over Christmas break the scale and I were madly in love. Every morning I'd get up, go pee and then joyfully climb onto my digital pal & await the sweet nothings he whispered in my ear. He gave me a minus one at least every morning...and on one beautiful sunshiny day he gave me a minus three. My heart fluttered. He loved me!! He really loved me!!

But I think he's found another. Every day for the past 7 days he's said "315." Followed the next day by "314." And immediately trailed by "315." 314. 315. 314. 315. Rinse and repeat.

I keep trudging along though. Unlike my last stall, this time I know it's just part of the game. It's part of the WLS highway and so I'm okay with it. This time I know for sure it's just temporary and that my body will once again get the memo and come out of it's hold pattern.

One thing I need to do is take my measurements. I've heard over and over that during these stalls we're usually continuing to lose inches. And since I've been working out (go me!) I'm sure the inches are coming off.....I just need to get out my handy dandy tape measurer and let him crush on me for awhile.

Maybe then the scale will get jealous and start to love me again. *giggle*

xoxo,

Therese

The Journey Thus Far

2010-01-02T12:41:00.003-06:00

Bullseye! (As in that famous red one!)

2009-12-28T23:42:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I did something amazing. Although for 'normal' sized people it's just an ordinary occurrence, for me it was monumental. I tried on some clothes in the dressing room....and they fit....and I wasn't at Lane Bryant, or The Avenue, or any of those 'fat girl' stores. I was at TARGET!!!! I haven't been able to buy a single item of clothing for myself at Target in about 7 years. Now sure, of course I had to buy from the plus size section, but before my surgery and weight loss there wasn't anything plus size enough to hold my enormous self. But now.....WOO HOOOO!!!! I bought myself a red sweater. I was so ecstatic that I took a picture. So here I am in the Target dressing room, pointing to the Target sign, wearing said red sweater.

I'm down 62 pounds and life is fabulous!!!! Best wishes for a great 2010 to all of my family, friends and subscribers.

xoxo,

Therese

Phase 3 Food Diary!

2009-12-08T21:15:00.004-06:00

Today I was 'promoted' to the next food phase. Wooo hooo! Here's what I ate today:

AM: half of my usual coffee protein shake

Meal 1: packet of original (no sugar) cream of wheat made with milk, add butter spray and splenda

Meal 2: packet of ready made tuna salad (yum!)

Meal 3: two shrimp, half of a cheese stick and two saltine crackers. Made some mango fire island sauce for the shrimp....yum!

Can't wait to have peanut butter tomorrow!

My total caloric intake for the day: 524

Fat grams: 12.2

Carbs: 42

Protein: 57 (three grams short of my daily minimum)

44 pounds lost so far. :) Life is good.

On the 10th Day of Weigh-In My True Love Gave to Me.....

2009-12-06T23:14:00.002-06:00

Alrighty. As I stated in my vlog today I'm going to list my last ten weigh-ins. I could go farther back but I thought 10 days give you a picture of my stall and the craziness of the scale.

11/27 - 341

11/28 - 340

11/29 - 339

11/30 - 340 (up a stinkin' pound!)

12/01 - 341 (WTH?)

12/02 - 339

12/03 - 338

12/04 - 339 (seriously?)

12/05 - 337 (better, thank you very much)

12/06 - 336

So a five pound loss in 10 days. It could be better - but damn, it could always be worse!

Yo quiero Taco Bell

2009-12-05T19:19:00.002-06:00

So tonight I had Taco Bell. I just couldn't bring myself to eat yet another egg or another bite of cottage cheese. I'm allowed the refried beans from TB as long as I order them without cheese. I enjoyed them immensely -- perhaps too immensely, which is why I'm writing about them in this blog.

Taco Bell was my fast food binge location of choice. I don't think there's anything on the menu that didn't make me glow with joy and happiness. (Or burst out of my jeans.) I have enjoyed almost everything I've been allowed to eat since surgery. But today I enjoyed my TB just a little bit too much. While putting those baby spoon sized bites into my mouth I found myself feeling sad that I couldn't have a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Or a Bean Burrito. Or a Nachos Bellgrande. Or just a plain old Taco.

Food thoughts.....racing, crazy, obsessive food thoughts. I didn't like the feeling.

I'm not sure I'll have TB again. Or at least not for awhile. This journey is a mental road trip, not just a physical melting of pounds and I don't think I'm quite ready to step into the world of Taco Bell. Maybe I'll never be. But I do know that I don't want to put myself in situations where I want to overeat or I feel deprived.

Lesson learned.

Food Diary

2009-12-04T18:25:00.001-06:00

What I ate today:

AM: Coffee protein shake (delicious!)

Meal 1: 1/2 cup of lowfat cottage cheese

Meal 2: two scrambled eggs

PM: Pom Raz Sangria protein drink

TGIF!

A Case of "Pouch Grouch"

2009-12-03T23:08:00.002-06:00

My pouch is very angry today. It started last night after dinner and it continued for most of today, although this evening it seems to have settled down a bit. All day today whenever I take a drink I feel like I just...can't....quite....seem....to....swallow....it....all....the...way. It feels stuck. Then around 4pm I sat down to eat my half cup of cottage cheese and wowzers. My pouch was not happy. After three very well chewed, baby spoon sized bites I felt like I had a gigantic rock lodged at the very bottom of my throat. Right about the time I started to get concerned, it seemed to let go and I felt better. I waited ten minutes and then all seemed fine. But then about an hour later I still had the same sensation when I tried to drink water. It didn't complain when I ate my eggs at dinner but I'm absolutely done eating for the day and I'm not even going to have my protein shake before bed. No sense in pissing off the pouch. It was really funky....and I'm hoping that it's gotten rid of it's attitude by tomorrow. Cause I don't want to spend another work day at the surgeon's office. Ugh.

I wanted to update my vlog today but the kids were nuts and I just didn't have enough quiet time to myself. Maybe tomorrow. Yesterday marked my 3 weeks out date. My weight has been s.t.a.l.l.e.d. and I've lost about 6 pounds in the last two weeks but I'm feeling much better about that today. The totally awesome peeps over on the BTV forum made me realize that it's normal and to quote the brilliant Lynnda, "You can't fail as long as you follow the rules." Which I'm doing - so hey, the fat can't hold on forever.

I'm doing better emotionally today as well. After yesterday's good cry and then blogging about everything I was bad-dream free last night. Yay!

And lastly, I wanted to share the fabulous coffee protein shake I've been having every morning. It's based on Amelia's (massagegoddess) but since I didn't care for the Hazelnut flavoring I made it my own. It's simple and yet delightfully wonderful! It doesn't even require a blender. I just shake it up in one of my Blender Bottles and wala - a tasty treat!

10 oz of Skim Milk

1 packet of Nescafe Dark Roast Instant Coffee

1 TBSP of sugar free french vanilla creamer

1 scoop of Vanilla protein powder (I use the GNC Whey because that's what's in the house)

Shake, shake, shake....and you have, what to me tastes just like a Starbucks Vanilla Frappucino from the cold case at the grocery store! Heaven in a Blender Bottle.

Hope to 'see' you all this weekend in my next Vlog!

xoxo

Therese

Overcome by Sadness

2009-12-02T20:01:00.002-06:00

Seven years ago I suffered an incredible loss. It devastated me, my husband, my family and everyone else who knew or loved me. I was unable to cope and had to seek counseling as well as prescription medicine for the depression and grief. As the years have gone by the pain has lessened. It's never gone completely but it's a part of my life and a part of me - and it's always there. It's a fact of me...a fact just like the color of my hair, the color of my eyes, and my birthdate. It just IS. God does a wonderful thing to help us cope with unimaginable pain in our lives....he grants us a sort of anesthetic that allows us to get up everyday and go about our daily motions: working, taking care of our families, cooking, cleaning, getting gas.....we are granted an eventual numbing injection that enables us to accept reality for what it is. At least that's how I've always perceived it.

The last time I felt overwhelmed by my grief and sadness was in May of 2006. It was May the third actually....the 13th birthday of the daughter that I haven't held in my arms since February of 2003. I was driving and I had to pull over to get myself together because I could no longer see the road through my tears.

I am 3 weeks out from my WLS today. And for the last 3 days I have been plagued with those old familiar feelings of pain and sadness. I have dreamt of my two lost children for the last 3 nights in a row. This morning I woke up feeling so lost, so sad and so heartbroken. By noon I was crying uncontrollably and the ache in my soul was profound. I called my husband and he comforted me. I called my best friend and she asked me the question that is the reason for this blog: "Why do you think you are suddenly feeling so much grief over this right now - do you think it's related to your surgery?" I said no, there's no relation at all. It's probably because it's Christmastime and I have been getting the decorations out, seeing the "baby's first Christmas" ornaments, the handmade decorations, the photos with Santa, etc....

But now, hours later, I have suddenly realized that YES, there is a link!! It's so obvious that I can't believe I didn't realize it right away. My drug of choice is no longer available to me. I am no longer able to drown my pain by stuffing myself with junk. The "numb" is wearing off and I am experiencing the ache that still exists seven years after losing two of my children. What I am feeling right now is what has always been inside of me. It is the reality of my loss.

I am sure the next few days will continue to be difficult for me but I also know that God will see me through. I still believe that He will hold me and cry with me and love me through this....and then He will again offer me a small respite from the ache. But I also know that this is a sign of the healing that is happening not just in my body, but in my life as well.

And although I am sad, I am also grateful. Grateful to be able to cry for my babies and to be able to feel the immense love I will always for them.

Mind Games

2009-11-30T20:30:00.003-06:00

This is a post I made today on one of my WLS message boards. I thought I'd share it here....

This Wednesday (the 2nd of Dec) will be my 3 week surgiversary. I have lost 39 pounds to date, but 23 of those were lost pre-surgery. I lost 11 pounds in the first week - but in the last 12 days I've only lost 5 pounds. I keep hearing that everyone stalls so I'm trying to relax but this just seems like a really long time to go with only losing 5 pounds, especially since "you never lose like you do that first year!" etc..... I'm sure I'm over-reacting, so please reassure me! I started at 379 and I'm grateful to be at 340....but I'm getting worried and frustrated about the rate of loss.

My other concern is the amount of food I eat. Two weeks ago when I first cleared for pureed and soft foods I could barely eat 1oz of food, and I was supposed to work up to 4oz at a meal. (half a cup) I am now able to eat right at one half cup....but when I portion out that much, it seems like a lot. I know in my head that this is what I'm supposed to be having, but I feel like I should be still having these tiny 1 or 2 oz servings. Tonight for dinner I had 1 egg and 3oz of cottage cheese. Even my husband remarked jokingly that it looked like I could "feed a bariatric family of four" with the food on my plate. I guess I'm worried about the size of my pouch - is it too big? Is it stretched out? Did I do something wrong to enlarge it? Also, since my surgery I have never once been sick from anything I've eaten. I hear others talk about how they couldn't get anything down, etc.... and I feel like maybe there's something wrong with me because nothing has made me sick. Yes, I am following all of the pouch rules and I haven't eaten anything outside of my surgeon's perimeters. But still, I know other people do and yet they still get sick.

I track my food daily using OH's Health Tracker and I consume an average of about 600 calories per day right now. Is that too much???

Help

Meet Pocahontas

2009-11-20T23:22:00.004-06:00

So forget about the last entry. I ended up using the Health Tracker tool that is already built into Obesity Help's website. Since I'm already registered there I opted to track my weight, food and exercise there. It's really handy.

In my latest video (1 Week Post-Op) I showed off my snazzy new medical id bracelet. My style is called "Pocahontas" and here is a close up picture:

For those interested you can get your very own or just peruse the catalog:

Click here to visit Lauren's Hope

I have also taken a new pic that I'll be posting here soon. It's my 33 pounds lost picture. You can't tell yet of course, but I still thought it would be a good idea to take a pic now and then anyways.

Until next time,

xoxo

Weight Tracking Online

2009-11-16T22:45:00.000-06:00

Not sure how this will pan out, but I'm going to try using it!

http://www.weightchart.com/member.aspx?u=TheDivineMissT

A Day in the Life

2009-11-02T21:02:00.005-06:00

Wanna know exactly what my day is like on the liquid pre-op diet? Inquiring minds are bursting to know, right?? Well look no further because listed below you'll get all the gory details! Come on...you know you wanna put down that burger and pick up a protein shake! haha!

Here is what I've had today, Monday, November 2nd:

Breakfast - 11oz Strawberry EAS AdvantEDGE Shake (nasty!)

Bariatric Advantage Mixed Berry chewable multivitamin

550mg Calcium Citrate pill

11:45am - 11oz Vanilla EAS AdvantEDGE Shake (yuck!)

Iron Supplement with Vitamin C

1:00pm - 16oz chicken broth, 1 serving of sugar free lime J-ELLO

32oz Powerade Zero Mixed Berry Drink

500mg Calcium Citrate Lemon Zest Chew

3:30pm - 4oz Banana flavored Chike protein drink (not horrible)

Iron Supplement with Vitamin C

6:40pm - 16oz of milk with Peanut Butter Chocolate Whey Protein added (yum!)

8oz of chicken broth and 8oz of vegetable broth

Iron supplement with Vitamin C

8:30pm - 11oz Chocolate EAS AdvantEDGE Shake (better than vanilla or strawberry)

Bariatric Advantage Mixed Berry chewable multivitamin

In addition I've had at least 64 oz of water or non-caffeine clear fluids such as Crystal Light or ice chips....

Okay, raise your hands --- who's jealous???? LOL

Update on Katie (ktnoodle on YouTube)

2009-10-31T13:13:00.002-05:00

I won't have time to make another video before I have to get my kids ready and out the door for Halloween, but I wanted to at least let everyone know how Katie (ktnoodle) is doing.

She called this morning (yay! Surprise!) and although she sounded tired and her voice was scratchy she really did sound GREAT. She was in good spirits and seemed happy. She said, "I'm not going to lie, yesterday was pretty bad but today is much better." I guess she was in a lot of pain yesterday and her first walk was pretty hard but she says that every time she goes on a walk she feels better and better. Things are looking good and the doctor said that as long as she continues to do well she'll be released in the morning (Sunday.) She also said that she did in fact make another video the morning of her surgery but she didn't have a chance to upload it before she had to leave. I'm sure we'll get to see it once she gets home and settled.

I'm SO excited and happy for you Katie! Get well soon! We're all rooting for you!

xoxo

Therese

For real this time...I mean it!

2009-10-17T01:46:00.005-05:00

Alrighty. A few days ago I posted that I was in the middle of uploading a new video. Yes well, that didn't go so well. I had made a new video but I tried for two days to upload it and finally decided to just make a new one with the digi camera instead of the webcam. The webcam and I are just not getting along. Soooo, until I can figure out how to fix what's wrong, I'm sticking to the video feature on my camera.

I made a new video tonight and it's uploading now. No really, it is. *wink* LOL

Tonight we took the kids to a nearby nature preserve for a free event where there was a nighttime flashlight hike and some nocturnal animals from the zoo. It was a lot of fun. I mention this because it's not often that we do things like this. These are the kinds of things I long to do but am generally too tired and in too much pain to do things like HIKE for goodness sakes. Me, HIKE?? No way. But today I decided that I need to start living now and stop waiting. Yes, it was hard for me to trudge around all evening....sweaty and yucky, feet

hurting, back hurting, sweating to death. But it was worth it. These are the kinds of things I want to do more of....and I can't wait. It was a lot of fun. We took some pics and I'm going to share a few now.

Me and my husband with our kids and then just me and the kids:

Twelve days until my pre-op class! Yipppeeeee!!!

xoxo

Therese

New Video Going Up Tonight

2009-10-12T22:59:00.003-05:00

I made a new video tonight. It's dark because the lighting in my living room sucks. And I haven't quite figured out how to make my words and my mouth match up on the screen, but if you pretend you're watching a really crap Japanese horror movie it's not so bad. YouTube says it's going to take 5 hours to upload so obviously I'm going to bed. Note to self: Figure out how to use the compression feature.

Much love and hugs to Liz, my super wonderful BFF and Bobbi, my top secret famous person friend who will never reveal her true identity to anyone except me. (Hi Madonna! LOL) Thanks for listening and for being my pre-release screeners. I love you both!

xoxo

Therese

My First Entry

2009-10-11T22:35:00.002-05:00

Hello world! This will be the sister blog to my video blog on YouTube. I'm not sure how well I'll be able to keep up with both but I'll give it my best shot. Much thanks to Bobbi for suggesting that I do this and to the YouTube user 'massagegoddess' for making her own video journal which inspired me to make mine.

My name is Therese and I'm a 34 year old wife and mother. I've been overweight my whole life and for the past several years I've been trying to get insurance approval for weight loss surgery (WLS.) Our old plan strictly excluded WLS but when my husband started a new job in June of 2009 I was overjoyed to discover that the surgery is a covered benefit under our new health insurance. I began completing my required packet in July, submitted it to the insurance company on September 21st and had my approval two days later, on September 23rd!! I was over the moon! My current (and my heaviest) weight is 379 pounds and I'm 5'8. I know that WLS will only help with the fat on my body, not the fat between my ears. WLS is not the end all cure and I know that I have a hard road ahead of me but I'm willing, ready and EXCITED to begin my journey.

My pre-op class is October 28th and I am hoping for a surgery date of November 11th.

I have just completed my first video entry on my YouTube site so please visit there as well.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDivineMissT

xoxo

Therese